Lez B Friends
by Amortentia Veritaserum
Summary: when Draco, Neville, and Harry must sing like The Midnight Beast to pass today's Muggle Studies Class, will they sing in tune or will they get booed? Based on The Midnight Beast song Lez B Friends. Rated T for Lyrics


_**A/N: YOU NEED TO READ THIS!**_

_Harry's parts are in italics_

**Draco's is Bolded**

And Neville's is Underlined.

_Harry and Neville are Italicized and Underlined._

_**Bold and Italics is Draco and Harry.**_

**Bold and underlined is Draco and Neville.**

_**When they are all used (Bold, Italicized, and Underlined), like this, they're all singing!**_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot and the 7**__**th**__** year Muggle Studies Professor I didn't bother to name. The song is Lez B Friends by The Midnight Beast, and everything else you recognize is JK Rowling's property.**_

Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter, and Neville Longbottom stood up in front of their 7th year Muggle Studies Class, each of them looking uncomfortable and holding a microphone.

"This is a muggle past time called Karaoke." Said the Muggle Studies professor. "I thought it would be nice if these three could demonstrate it." She nodded to the boys "Pick a song."

Glancing at the other two boys around him, Harry decided he'd better do the picking. He was more into the Muggle World then either of them. He glanced down the list and decided on one of the more popular songs, but before he could request it, Neville had closed his eyes and pointed at a random one. The Song began to play over the speakers, a moderately fast song with a catchy beat. Harry shot his best Death Glare at Neville and frowned.

Neville blushed at Harry's anger and read the instructions. "It says that we each get a color, and when the words are white, we sing together." He whispered.

"I call green." Said Draco, glancing at the choices.

"Then I get Blue." Said Harry.

"I… I guess I get Orange then…." The words popped up on their shared screen, under the words Spoken.

"THE MIDNIGHT BEAST!" They yelled together.

"It's the year of the beast!" said Draco.

"You better have a shower before you come out tonight, girl." said Harry.

"Cuz you're gonna get _Dirty_." said Draco, with a smirk.

` "Yeah, it's your boy…" Neville read the name, and replaced it. "Neville."

"Let's walk!"

If a girl won't come round

_**She must be a Lesbian**_

Or turns me down

_**She must be a Lesbian**_

If she don't like me

_**She must be a Lesbian**_

_**I'll let her down Lightly**_

**You must be a Lesbian**

Draco, Harry and Neville shared a smile all jumped at the same time.

I'm at a party I'm a girl machine

**I'm gonna have sex with them all, if you know what I mean**

It's like a sweet 16

_But the Girls are 18_

And I can't wait to peel them like a tangerine

**I'm gonna, g-go down on them like a submarine**

_SUBMARINES ARE FUN!_

Harry let out a nervous laugh and glanced around him. Draco and Neville rolled their eyes.

**I walked to a hottie and turned on my charm**

**But before I can start I hear a rape alarm**

**It's going**

A siren off in two short bursts. They each jumped in surprise, then Neville noticed the words were still going.

I can't feel my ears, I think their bleeding from the

The siren went off again.

_I can't work out why the girls are screaming_

_I'm the best looking boy in the world_

**Oh, wait, I bet she likes kissing girls?**

Harry and Neville shrugged in response to Draco's question.

**I still hear the**

The Siren went off again, and the boys nodded their heads to it.

Maybe if I let her she would

The siren went off in one short burst

Me with her

The siren went off twice. Draco smiled as he imagined what the sirens were censoring.

**I can't work out why the girls won't fancy me!**

**I'm the best looking boy in sight…**

Harry stepped forward and looked straight at Pansy Parkinson, who happened to be sitting in the front row.

_No, hang on, I bet you like boobies, right?_

The classroom erupted with laughter, and Harry jumped back to look at the screen again.

If a girl won't come round

_**She must be a lesbian**_

**Or turns me down**

_She must be a lesbian_

_If she don't like me_

**She must be a lesbian**

I'll let her down lightly

Harry faked a look of sadness.

_Ohhh… You must be a lesbian_

If a girl won't kiss

_**She's taking a piss**_

**Or get down with this**

_I can't believe it_

_If she doesn't fancy me_

**Well….**

_**She must bat for the other team**_

_**She's a lesbian**_

The muggle studies professor looked a little troubled, but was tapping her foot along with the beat. The rest of the class was either clapping their hands and nodding their heads with the song.

Draco stepped forward.

**Take two, it's my rapping debut**

Neville pulled him back and stepped forward himself.

I'm having trouble trying to find another girl to pursue

Harry stepped in front of both of them

_I'm like a fire truck_

Draco raised an eyebrow and pushed him to the side

**What? Full of muscle-ly guys?**

Harry glared at Draco, but moved to make room for both of them in front

_I meant a pun where I compare the hose to my_

The siren went off and shut down almost at once

_Size_

Neville stepped through the gap between them and smiled at the crowd, noticing for the first time that some of the girls in the class were mobbing around the raised platform that they were standing on.

And then I see her, and I start feeling sick

I say, my name is Pogo, you wanna jump on my stick?

Draco smirked, noticing the girls in front give a collective gasp.

**I woo her with my words ask if I could poke her face.**

_She doesn't see the funny side and sprays my face with mace._

_It's going_

The unmistakable sound of a perfume, or in this case, Mace, spritzer sounded over the speaker, as if someone sprayed perfume twice.

I can't feel my eyes I think they're bleeding from the

The spray sounded twice.

**I can't work out why the girl is screaming**

**I'm the best looking boy in the world**

_Oh wait, unless she likes kissing girls?_

They each nodded.

_I still feel the_

The spray sounded twice.

Maybe she could

This time, as the spray sounded once, Draco, Harry and Neville held their arms out, and pulled them back in; doing a pelvic thrust.

Me up my

Harry mimed a low smack as the spray sounded quickly twice.

With a

The spray sounded twice, but slower than the last time. Draco mimed cracking a whip twice in sync with the sound.

The boys on stage then noticed that almost all the girls (and some of the boys) were crowded around the stage, moving to the beat and reaching out their hands to touch them.

**I can't work out why the girls don't fancy me**

**I'm the best looking boy in sight.**

Holy smokes, I bet she like boobies, right?

That was when the first classmate-turned-fangirl (Cho Chang) started screaming their names. The others soon joined her.

If a girl won't come round

_**She must be a lesbian**_

**Or turns me down**

_She must be a lesbian_

_If she don't like me_

**She must be a lesbian**

I'll let her down lightly

They all pointed outward.

_**SHE MUST BE A LESBIAN!**_

Draco, Neville, and Harry all shouted it, and the crowd ate it up. They were now frantically reaching for the boys while still moving to the beat.

If a girl won't kiss

_**She's taking a piss**_

**Or get down with this**

_I can't believe it_

_If she don't give me the eye_

_**Well…**_

She must drive on the other side

_**She's a lesbian**_

Draco, Harry, and Neville all walked the same direction towards the side of the stage, then turned around and walked back to the center. They each took three steps forward and then skipped three steps back, so in sync you'd think they'd practiced.

**It's your birthday!**

_You go girl!_

I like your… shoes…

Harry and Draco both gave Neville a weird look and pushed him backward, stepping closer together and blocking him from sight.

_We are two boys_

**And we're looking for two girls**

_They are two girls_

**Let's talk to the girls!**

_How are you, what's your name?_

Neville pushed through them, his robe gone, his tie loose and his top few buttons open.

I tried to talk, but I just came

In my pants, I am sad

Harry and Draco gave each other faces of mock happiness and looked down at Neville's pants, then back at the crowd, eyes wide in fake happiness.

_**CHATTING UP GIRLS IS REALLY RAD!**_

She won't come round

_**She must be a lesbian**_

**Turns me down**

_She must be a lesbian_

_If she don't like me_

**She must be a lesbian**

I'll let her down lightly

**Ahh… You're a lesbian.**

Neville held his hand up in the air and waved it back and forth, Draco and Harry mirroring him. The entire classroom mimicked them, the professor even taking off her blazer to reveal a modest white button up shirt. "WE LOVE YOU!" She screamed, the other classmates-turned fangirls, and even some Hufflepuff boys echoing her.

**If a girl can act**

_She must be a thespian_

_Is that right?_

Yeah

_**She must be a thespian**_

The boys on stage all turned once on the spot and bowed.

_**If she doesn't fancy me**_

_**Well…**_

_**She must bat for the other team,**_

_**She's a Lesbian**_

Draco pointed into the crowd.

**That girl she must be a lesbian**

Neville copied him.

That girl she must be a lesbian

Harry pointed into the crowd.

_That girl, she must_

_**She's a lesbian**_

**Lez Lesbian**

She's a

_That girl she must be a Lez_

**She's a lesbian**

Lez Lesbian

She's a

**That girl she must be a Lez**

_**She's a lesbian.**_

As the song ended, Hermione Granger opened her eyes and sat up from her light sleep in the comfy Gryffindor Common Room chair in front of the fire. She glanced at the sky blue beaker of potion with a black musical note on it. She stood and stretched, glancing around the empty common room. The sky outside the window was dark and star speckled. It must have been around midnight.

She bent down and grabbed the Patented Daydream Potion and slipped it into the pocket of her robes. There was still some in there, and Hermione had every intention of drinking some before bed another night.

Hermione smiled as she headed up to the girls dormitory. Her thoughts moved to the trunk at the end of her bed. Inside of it were many multicolored beakers and pieces of parchment containing her means of escape; The Daydream Charms. Charms of every genre and type sat neatly inside in the trunk, hidden beneath a layer of school robes. Hermione was planning on using every single one before her 6th year was through.

EVERY SINGLE ONE!

_**A/N: WOW! That was fun to write! **____** If you can tell, I'm doing a theme here, of Potion-induced Daydreams. Same for Naughty Naughty Nightmares, and others I currently have buzzing around in my head. I don't know if I'll post another one as a new Story or another Chapter, but it'll be posted, alright?**_

_**Review Pretty Please? I just discovered the Traffic Settings of Fanfiction, and realized that a lot more people (467 for the prologue of NNN and 617 for the 1**__**st**__** chapter) read these than I thought, and I only got 7 reviews! SEVEN!**_

_**You can even just say "Awesome" If you like it or "STUPID" if it sucked. Really. I'm not picky.**_

_**Buuutt…. If I don't get at least 10 reviews per upload, I'll stop uploading all together, I promise.**_

_**And now, as a Slytherin Girl at heart, I say ADEW!**_

_**~Powerful Potions**_


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